I don't understand

I am bothered more than I should be by a woman with whom I work. She is older in age…older than my own mother. She consistently works a 50-60 hour week. She has 4 children and lives with one of them. There are grandchildren and great-grandchildren who also live and stay with her. Now, I say that she lives with them because they are the majority and basically run the house, however, the house is in her name; she is the one who pays the mortgage and taxes and car payment. She is the one who mows the lawn and spends the money for home improvements such as paint, carpet and plumbing repairs. The grandkids have mostly moved out but their mother watches the great-grandchildren of my coworker. The mother does not have a high school diploma or GED. Her husband is currently unemployed, laid off, though has spent some time on disability in the past and has been abusive to my coworker’s daughter at times when money is tight and stress levels rise. This woman (my coworker) will likely work until the day she dies, if she is able. Her other three children who are not living in the house with her also ask for money. She gives it.

It breaks my heart to see the disrespect with which she is treated. The expectation that she will provide for her family is constant and there has been no change over in the shift of responsibility from one generation to the next. No passing of the guard. Her children will always be her children and they will never care for themselves. They will always rely on her. What a terrible way to live your life. To know that you will never have a chance to truly rest. To have money hanging over your head always. To know that you will never be out from under the expectations of your family to act as provider. To be so proud of your kids and grandkids that you refuse to let them grow up into the adults they NEED to be.

I worry about what will happen if she needs to quit work due to failing health. I wonder what her family will do. How will they handle it? Will they do right by her? Will they be willing to pull together? Will they tear each other apart in trying to get every last cent, though there will likely be very little. Does she work so much to stay out of the house? Does she feel that more money will mean more harmony? Does she ever think about pushing the kids, her children and their spouses, out on their own to see if they can fly? Were her parents this way?

Questions. Very sad questions. And no answers.